I was speaking to a girfriend this week who was doing the “bah humbug” thing about Valentine’s Day. She’s a senior IT manager and spends her days travelling the world doing corporate take overs. Attractive, successful she is strong and makes no apologies about it. Yet she has had such little success in the dating department. Just like Miranda had to lie and say she was a stewardess to get a date at speed dating, many guys seem to be threatened by my IT friend with the great purses and take no prisoners attitude.
Is female empowerment killing romance?
Sexual attraction in the 21st century, it seems, still feeds on 20th-century stereotypes. Now, as more women match or overtake men in education and the labor market, they are also turning traditional gender roles on their head, with some profound consequences for relationship dynamics.
There is a growing army of successful women in their 30s who have trouble finding a mate and have been immortalized in S.A.T.C. and the Bridget Jones novels.
I think the men she attracts tend to be submissive sexually. And yet like most people in positions of power, they like to “lie back” when it comes to inter personal relationships. The issue of power in marketing yourself cannot be understated. I am doing more and more work in theis area. Everything from femdom (Venus on top) female superior relationships to acting submissive in order to get dates are becoming more and more of an issue in relationships.
I think most men are looking for a kind woman who looks good, is independent, like sex, and makes them feel needed. And I really believe that 75% of men are sexually submissive. I’m writing a dating book on how to use this new information to market yourself effectively. And my IT friend promised me her Jimmy Choo bag if I could pull off a real relationship for her. I’m motivated and will keep you posted.