Guess what. You don't need another excuse to play fantasy games of the bosom-heaving damsel and boat of unwashed pirates. Tomorrow, September 19 is International Talk Like A Pirate Day. Don’t believe me? Check out talklikeapirate.com, and practice up on your lingo and get costume ideas. If it's a Friday dress-down-at-work-day, send out the email that everyone comes in cool boots and an eye patch. Or you can read about the sex lives of pirates and learn how to Unleash Your Inner Buccaneer.” But if you’re a modern day piratewith modern day needs, celebrate the pirate holiday by downloading a new application for your iPhone: the ayePhone.
That’s right, the ayePhone, made by Area 45 software, lets you live vicariously as a pirate tomorrow and every day. The application makes pirate sounds, such as “yo ho ho” and “walk the plank,” and allows you to feel like a real, live pirate, but without the puffy shirt and eye patch and plundering and all that. Although I'm wondering what the fun is in that.
Tomorrow is also a good day to rent the x rated movie – Pirates (a boat load of women pirates) with lots, and lots of sex and boys on their knees. It was the porn movie of the year last year, with a huge budget, loads of skin which won all the awards. It's always good to do something hot for your sweetie, and all women are secretly hot for pirates. Or maybe it's just that all women are hot for Johnny Depp.