Charlie Ben

I've long thought that major sports club should have sex therapists on retainer. Part counselor, part nurturing principal figure (don't disappoint us), and part kick-ass dominate who'll be what out-of-control testosterone needs. Young men with too much money, time, and overblown egos need their sexuality managed if they can't seem to keep it in their pants. Sports figures manage their image, financial planning, and coaching. I think they there needa consistent, therapeutic way to manage potential "off the field" problems. As a sex therapist/and sex addiction counselor I've written insights into Clinton, ARod, Tie Domie, Woods, and countless CEO's,  I find myself shaking my head about this week's exploits.  I really believe that many men will have difficulties managing their sexual selves if they aren't given the tools to deal with raging hormones, fantasies and overwhelming opportunity to indulge.

Take Big Ben Roethlisburger, the Quarterback of the Pittsburgh Steelers. He's in front of the NFL Commissioner this week after a third women (this time a 20 year old in Georgia who was kept in a back room by Ben with his body guards blocking the door) came forward with sexual assault charges. There is absolutely no excuse for the behaviour, but it could have been identified and managed before he put anyone else at risk. The NFL need some help dealing with large men out of control. And despite what Terry Bradshaw says, I think he needs therapy, (and a serious tune up) not a lecture from the Commissioner.  Like Tiger, he's a lock to repeat the behaviour. The only thing he's may have learned out of this is discretion. He doesn't have the tools to self correct. This week we also learned that Stephen Seagal (quasi athlete turned TV star) has had his reality show "Lawman" halted because he is being sued by a model for making her "his sex toy". http://thresq.hollywoodreporter.com/2010/04/hollywood-docket-cops-shut-steven-seagal-down-charlie-sheens-right-to-remain-silent-sarah-palin-cont.html

And there is Charlie Sheen. Not a sports figure (he just played one on TV), he is up on domestic abuse charges for holding a knife to his wife's throat. I would be inclined to give these guys the benefit of a doubt except that with the third time for Roethlisburger (fifth occurrence in the case of Sheen) shows the pattern continues unabated. I think the answer is to understand the psychological link between physical achievement, domination and sexuality. If you understand that triad of deep rooted inclinations, and you have a chance of solving inappropriate sexual behaviour. I have not yet heard from sports management organization (feel free to call, I am so confident of my theory I'll work for free). It is time to quit doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.  You and I both know that is the definition of insanity. It is also the absolute guarantee that the headlines of men behaving badly will continue. 

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