So like many Hollywood couples Marie Osmond is re-marrying her first husband.
“The urge to marry the same man has to do with over-romanticizing old love or it is that what pulled you to each other, the same chemistry, is there again,” says Manhattan psychotherapist and relationship counselor Irina Firstein. “However, more often than not, the same issues come back up and cause trouble again.”
Firstein does, however, hold out a bit of hope for Marie Osmond and her new (old?) bridegroom: “Thirty years is a long time and people can change,” she says. “Or they are older and more realistic, and, having been friends all these years, there may be different, more realistic expectations. So this may make sense.”
Can old dogs learn new tricks? Is the nostalgia of the magic of first relationships what cause people to re-kindle that flame. I wrote earlier about Liz Hurley and Hugh Grant talking about growing old together as friends. What to think? Is the same problems that drove a wedge the first time going to rear their ugly head? Generally (at least with celebrities) the second time isn’t the charm.
Think Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton who had a long standing on and off again love affair. Addiction (for both of them) couldn’t be fixed despite the passion they obviously had for each other. Natalie Wood and Robert Wagner? Hugh Heffner and his Mrs. and the other celebrity guy that married the same Playboy bunnies over and over Larry King?
My opinion is that great relationships are very hard to find. Sex is relatively easy to get, but great connections are rare. On the other hand there are thousands of people in the country that could be your soul mate. You’ve just got to kick enough tires to find them. And kicking the same old one is probably not going to get it done in a new way.
The chemistry you make with a new relationship -that love sick rush of endorphins, is a once-in-a-lifetime kind of thing. I’m not saying that you can’t have compatibility with a life long friend, but the past may or may not equal the future. My suggestion is that if you’re alone, go out on 100 dates this year with new people who you’ve advertised for. If none of them aren’t better than your ex, than maybe you can look at re-kindling an old flame.
As for Marie, I wish her well, but the odds aren’t with her.