Hi Sue,
I am 30 and am dating a man who is a few years older. We have been dating for about 6 months. I think he is wonderful and I want to move the relationship forward. My friends tell me that he is very much into me, but I am not feeling it. He’s sometimes hard to reach and he doesn’t seem to make an effort to see me. Our relationship seems comfortable, but there is no spark. What can I do?
Dear Confused,
I hear your frustration and I wish I could offer up the magic advice. However what I do know is that you can’t make someone crazy about you. There is an expression that “a man will stand at a payphone in the pouring rain to call a girl he’s interested in”. Or jump high and run far to be around her. Men who want to be with you will make their feelings known. And everyone deserves to be with someone who wants to be with them.
What I also know is that everyone is on their best behavior at the beginning of a relationship. You are seeing his most “into you behavior” now before the attraction chemicals wear off after the first 9 to 12 months together. The beginning should be magic. I know that many men do what I call “date by default”. He will be with you even though you are not the right girl for him. It’s time to have the conversation and ask him honestly about his feelings for you. Ask him some questions about where he sees the relationship is going and find out for sure if he’s just “kicking it”. Then it’s time to go to the spa, feel better, find a fabulous new outfit and put your dating ad back out there.