I love quick, simple, effective ways to improve relationships. I think everyone does. But I get turned off platitudes- you know the “light a candle- it will fix your romance problems” kind of pat advice.
So I keep a running list of great suggestions that actually work. Quick certainly works on my radio show, and my favourite of late is my current list on body language. Here is my top 10 list for ways to improve your relationship by reading your sweetie’s body language.
1. A big, sympathetic hug before work hows you are a team. Most people crave touch, and those kind of hugs are necessary for lowering your blood pressure.
2. Take a minute to check in with your partner’s body language before launching into a conversation. They may be angry, pre-occupied, or restless and will have difficulty “hearing you”.
3. I like to sandwich an idea. I love you… then tell them what’s on your mid, and make sure you are lovingly touching their arm through the conversation.
4. Talk to your partner with constant eye gazing. Make a real effort to meet each others eyes.
5. Think of body language as a dance. Try and mirror your partner, and you’ll feel much more like you are on the same page and in synch.
6. Eliminate judgmental looks. The rolling eyes, the glare, the sighs. It will go long way to having your partner feel loved.
7. Speaking of feeling loved, most men feel loved when they are touched. Try to increase the amount of physical touching in your relationship.
8. Be aware that moods are contagious. If you stamp into the house with your arms crossed, growling don’t be surprised if your sweetie reflects that back to you. A deep breath, stretch and smile before you enter the door will help ensure you don’t take whats bugging you out on your spouse.
9. Videotape your conversation, or look at old pictures to see what your body language says about you. You might be very surprised.
10. Try sitting down to discuss something over a drink (even a cup of coffee). The act of taking a sip will ensure you are breathing and more likely to listen- not just talk.